Helmets, Sidecars, BBQ and Full Body Armor

Hank Hank at the SLO Motorcycle Classic, Oct 2012

A couple of years ago I was at a vintage motorcycle show and became instant buddies with a crazy Scotsman named Hank.  Hank is always willing to participate in sidecar events and always supporting what people are doing.  Brother Hank is one of the official Sidetrak’n Cosmonutz as well as an official Distinguished Gentleman.  So it was my pleasure to ride up and participate in his event, Sidecars, BBQ and Full Body Armor.

Any day on a sidecar is a good day, some better than others but all are just simply good times.  Sidecar days are even better when you can share with your friends and better still when you make new friends in the process.

Hank put together a great afternoon of activities with two BBQ grills going full tilt by midmorning, two Scalextrics Slot car racing tracks complete with electric sidecars as well as a dirt track to demo one of his bikes and of course the afternoon blind sidecar slalom.  

There were folks that rode in from as far away as San Jose as well as Monterey and Paso Robles.  For me it was a nice 120km (each way) ride on the California Central Coast.

The slot car races were full-contact no rules Mad Max style racing.  Given these parameters I had to devote the appropriate resources and build a competition Gobi slot-sidecar.  Again racing is racing and this is serious stuff so I tuned my miniature hack as any good competitor would.  Christie gave me a hard time for cheating but I told her it wasn’t possible to cheat since there weren’t any rules and then promptly bumped her out if the way…lol. 

How do you hot rod a slot car?  Well, I took it apart and coated all of the moving parts with dry silicon.  Ha!...it worked like a charm.  The old camo Gobi would lap the others easily in two and half laps.  Boom! That just happened.  Yeah yeah I know they are just slot cars but it was still pretty funny.  The hardest part was keeping it on the track! After all, physics are still physics regardless of the size of the sidecar. 

OK, so now on to real track. The slalom was a load of fun and I suppose its only fair payback to have the monkey in control for a change.  Its funny because I never really thought about it before but now I have a better understanding why a few of my friends don’t want to monkey because they have to be in control. 

To clear up any confusion, blind sidecar slalom isn’t a figure of speech but a literal description of the challenge.  First you form a team, having a trustworthy monkey with good communication skills is the most important factor in this low speed death-defying mechanical adventure.  Then as the pilot you have to take a big bite of humble pie (did someone say pie? —sorry I digress—pie is for later), precede to the start, then don your blackout glasses, ease out the clutch, take your time and LISTEN to what your monkey tells you. 

When you roll off the starting line you will take left and right commands (from your monkey) to safely navigate through the course in both directions without (hopefully) hitting any cones.   It’s kind of like getting a pilots instrument rating without having any instruments. Seriously it’s tremendously disorienting but good for a laugh. 

After copious amount of BBQ, pie and a good sunburn everyone started winding down and shuffling home.  Taking with them kind gifts from our host and an afternoon of fond memories.

Steve and Hank agreeing that next year
Steve will have a hack as well--hint hint

Ural National Rally Day 2013

Rally Day 2013

Well friends, Rally Day 2013 is in the bag. The weather was spectacular, the camaraderie humbling and the interactions (UDF's) brilliant!  UDF, by the way, is Ural Delay Factor and one of the phenomena that make Uraling so much fun.  A UDF is basically what happens when you stop your bike for any reason and get delayed with a conversation (usually about your Ural.)  The UDF's on this years rally often resulted in providing rides, which I call "a monkey orientation."  Oh… the monkey… A monkey in sidecar speak is the person riding in the sidecar.  If you need a greater understanding of what it means to be "the monkey," check out Sidetrak'n Monkey Michael S. at the 12 second mark in the 2012 Rally video or for a more extreme demonstration check out this clip.  Another term is known as "flying the chair," which means handling the bike in such a fashion that the sidecar wheel lifts up in the air on a swift right turn (with a right hand sidecar that is).

The official sunrise time of 0645 started the clock with ride checks and final preparations.  Next thing on the schedule was to meet the group for breakfast at the Quackenbush Cafe in Los Alamos.

The Sidetrak'n Cosmonutz consisted of three sidecars, one BMW GS and a team support vehicle
as we took off to the Air Force base to get a unique "Gate Guard" photo (gate guard = static display).  In this case we took pictures of the Minuteman III ICBM

and the M-47 Patton Tank.  We were also fortunate to have a few Airman join us and take a few service rides (service ride = taking someone in uniform for a ride).

Thanks fellows for raising your hand to defend our freedoms! Next time a longer ride...

After sharing our adventure with our military friends we made our way to the Carnegie Library in Lompoc CA.  While the library is a historic building it is also home to the Lompoc Museum.

From there we made our way down Highway 1

to Hwy 101 South through Gaviota and stopping at the Arroyo Hondo Bridge to pick up points for a "historic bridge" before continuing on to Goleta.  

As we made our way south Yakdan split from the group to go pick up his monkey for the remainder of the journey and rejoin us in Goleta.  We came rolling down the exit ramp at Patterson Ave leaving the scream of the 4-lane behind us… and then there was PIE!!!  Yes... the lovely ladies

of Simply Pies in Goleta took good care of us with a special "Sidetrak'n" pie and even greater enthusiasm.

After exceeding our caloric intake for… ehhmmmm… the month (perhaps the year)…. we adjourned to the parking lot for no less then 5... yes... FIVE monkey orientation rides.  Enthusiasm is infectious and we had a great time.. The customers even got into the spirit and one of the gals sweetheart came down to go for a ride as well.  It was good fun or as Jordan put it, "Pie-tastic!"

 These girls have sidecar'n in their DNA.  They were cracking me up when we were flying the chair.  You girls ROCK!

From there Yakdan took over duties at the front of the pack and lead us to Hope Ranch where I got my first pucker points.  I told Larry i Felt like we were riding through the set of 70's TV show Fantasy Island.  I've lived here for 20 years and never driven through Hope Ranch.  WAY out of my price range...lol.

Without missing a beat we headed across the Mesa, past the beaches, the harbor and up State Street to the 3 Pickles Deli for lunch.  Talk about karma, I achieved a full pucker literally as we pulled into the parking spot!  Oh and I have video to prove it!  Oh yeah, Pucker points are when you run your bike until you are out of fuel.

At the First pucker you switch to reserve and Full Pucker is completely empty.  FYI, you don't want to have full pucker going uphill on State Street in Santa Barbara in the middle of a Saturday afternoon.  Outside of the embarrassment there would be a lot of unhappy motorists giving you the "stink-eye"… at best…lol.  Thankfully the Motorcycle Gods were looking over us again and we sputtered to a stop in the parking lot next to the deli.  Pretty awesome really.  Gas can in-hand we solved that problem without further issue. 

After some lunch we spun around the block for some photographic shenanigans at the courthouse before heading over the San Marcos pass and heading toward Solvang.  In Solvang we split paths with Yakdan so he could go check on his pups and get some canine monkey points before meeting us again to make the twisties back to Los Alamos.
While Dan made his detour we ran up the windy road past the Nojoqui Falls County Park and then a short stint on the "old coast road" before heading to regroup in Buellton.  

As we made our way up Ballard Canyon, which is just a beautiful curvy ride through the hills, vineyards and ranches we kept our eyes peeled for the buffalo grazing in the fields hoping to get some animal points.  Eureka! they were there!  Apparently the buffalo also dig sidecars because the came little closer so we could get some pictures. I think this stop got the highest points for entertainment on the day.  While we were stopped for photo's and a "nature break" a really nice couple came down the road in one of the most beautiful examples of a Shelby Cobra that have ever seen or heard.

This car sounded amazing!!! Well, we flagged them down and they were so kind as to let us get a  picture with our rally flags and that's when the emotion… fatigue… silliness… and general jocularity of it all got to Hank Hank and he clasped (not medically…lol) in gratitude.

 He was just having fun or as he put it… "getting snake bitten by a Cobra."  We all had a good laugh as he flopped down on the road with his rally flag next to him and the car. 

The final run through Ballard, Foxen and Alisos canyons gave us spectacular views of the San Rafael Mountains before making our final stop in Los Alamos at Full of Life Flatbread.

The original plan to meet at Casa Dumetz went awry do to a schedule conflict but not to worry, in Sidetrak'n fashion one must find opportunity when deviating from the plan.  George and the folks at Flatbread hooked us up and we made that our final stop.  As a result of that change in plans, Hank and I challenged each other to a tire change which looked more like a Chinese fire drill than a pit crew but it was good for laugh and a sidewalk spectical.

That spectical resulted in a conversion with a passerby that was an old acquaintance that I hadn't seen in at least five years.  It was great to reconnect and catch-up. Had we followed our original plan or even opted not to change the tire we would have probably missed one another.  

All in all it was a beautiful day.  We shared our story with new friends, spent the day with our Sidetrak'n family, shared solidarity with our Worldwide Ural family and created some great memories for all concerned.  That's what it's all about… pulling on the thread that binds us all and reveling in the experience.  Thanks again everyone!  See you out there… somewhere….hopefully before next years rally.  -jp

For more photos check out Ms. Rosminah's handiwork at her flickr page.

The Distinguished Gentleman's Ride 2013

Distinguished Gentleman and Ladies alike, please mark your calendar and don your best dapper attire (or at least dapper attire that you are willing to sacrifice for a ride) and join us for the Gala Dapper Motorcycle Event of the year.   Yes, pedestrians of the countryside, let your hearts go aflutter with desire as these handsome fellows grace the countryside on their noble fire breathing steeds.  The Distinguished Gentleman's Ride is upon us.

Our gallant adventure will take us from Los Alamos Ca, (the home of the historic figure known as Zorro) down the highways of California to our first stop for coffee, pictures and a regroup at the Corner Coffee House in Los Olivos, CA.  After a short stop we will enchant the locals with dapper merriment as we traverse this eclectic hamlet before a short journey to our next tarry.  This will be the destination not to miss.  It will be an opportunity for a bit of time travel at the Vintage Motorcycle Museum of Solvang.   After an opportunity to absorb as much as a gentleman can so do, without public salivation (yes that would be salivate- trust me I've been there. 1949 Vincent Black Lightning- Case Closed!) we will have worked up a bit of an appetite so plan for lunch at the Alisol River Grill.  With our hunger abated we will mount up and travel through the picturesque Danish Village of Solvang before making our way through the back canyon roads that twist beautifully through some of the most spectacular vineyards in Santa Barbara County.  We are planning one last regroup and photo opportunity at the historic stage coach stop known as Mattei's Tavern.  Our final relaxing jaunt will take us further through wine country where we will pass Daniel Boone's winery (...or  Davy Crockett - depending on which show you watched) and back to Los Alamos.  We will finish at Casa Dumetz Winery and for those interested we can migrate down the street for a meal fit for an artisan at Full of Life Flatbread.  

I encourage all of you to be as ornate as possible, monocle, pipe, and pocket watches are the order of the day.  For those dapper lads and ladies that aren't riding but would like to participate, please feel free to dress for the occasion and meet us at any and all points along this itinerary.  We would love to see you beautiful ladies in your best 40's era attire.  Remember, this only happens once a year don't miss you opportunity.

One final note:  This year the we would like to also add support for a charitable cause in addition to our merriment.  This year we would like to bring some much need dialog to something that effects Distinguished Gentleman the world over; sadly that would be Prostate Cancer.  It is detectable, treatable and survivable with the right surveillance and treatment.  Please help us make a difference.  We would request that anyone wishing to share in the philanthropic spirit of this ride please make a contribution to the Prostrate Cancer Foundation.

Thanks to everyone for their interest and support.  A tip of the hat to you all.  Many thanks to the lads in OZ that started this whole thing a few short years ago.  Safe travels and rubber side down mates. --JP

4 Generations- back and hopefully forth!

Recently, I took a leap of faith to follow a dream to become a filmmaker. I decided to listen to the years of coincidence and repeated experiences of working on television documentaries and educational television programing to step up to the challenge.

Travel Channel Film Crew

I applied to a school that I have always wanted to attend and to my surprise, I was accepted.  Ha! I think they just needed the money.  lol

Ironic plaque in the entrance to the school I wont attend

Anyway, the next step was funding thru the Veterans Administration.  Well, that's were everything got ugly.  Long story short, they said NO.  Actually it was more like, "Hell no! peon get back to work."  Honestly, I was pretty deflated about it.  I has left me determined to just do it my way but I really don't know what "way" that is or how to go about it… but thats never stopped me before and I'm learning.

I do know this;  In the last 26 years I have been in some way connected to the Cold War and somehow I have inherited a responsibility to preserve and tell this story.  I have tried find purpose in this and in so doing I have met people that have shaped the world.  People of high esteem and people of nameless stature but they are all part of the same equation. They were/are a part of something historic.  I am sure of one thing; If we [humanity] forsake these lessons then humanity will ultimately loose their place at the table.  

Since learning that I was NOT in-fact going to film school, serendipity has been knocking on my door again.  I have met a world renown photographer

Justin Barton working on his latest project, "The World in Their Hands"

who is documenting personalities of the Cold War, I have met a crew member of the original Thor weapon system for the RAF, I have had several AF Thor personal seek me out to learn more about their own story. On top of this, a couple of old friends came back into the picture with renewed vigor to conduct research and in as much they have renewed my faith to tell the story and most importantly I have been reminded that the work matters.  To Shawn and Joe… I thank you for your service and all that you do to preserve this story.  I have come to grips with the fact that what i do just doesn't matter to the "institution."  Fine so be it.  However, it matters to humanity, whether it is known or not.  

I was reminded of this last week.  I received a request for an unplanned visit to my office by a former Thor member to which I obliged.  I try to support all of those requests if at all possible.  It's a learning experience at the very least and therefore worthy of my time.  What I usually receive is a purposeful life lesson.  This visit was no different. 

So, our Thor veteran shows up on site as scheduled with his family in-tow.  When I say family, it don't mean wife or child… I mean FOUR generations of his family. wife, kids, grandkids and great grandkids.  So, given this dynamic I couldn't really interview him but instead took the opportunity to tell the story.  The story that he was a part of… a story that shaped history (and still is by the way).  Ultimately, his story.  I watched as his family was moved to emotion as they heard the humble endeavors in which their loved one participated.  Stories being told unsolicited, unrehearsed, unbiased by a self recollection (often our memories are self focused-like or not- it's human nature).  I was merely a stranger that validated their families history.  The three hours spent with this family go into the collection of great honors in my professional life.  They GOT IT! 

More importantly to me is the fact that they helped me "get it" as well.  I was reminded that there are many unnamed contributions that our disposable world may just never know… unless someone tells their story.  That is what I do.  I collect and share the stories.  A voice so the voices are heard.  A voice so the stories are experienced.  I am a collector.  The Cold War is my canvas.  I will find and excercise every medium possible to share this story.  I owe it to you.  A Russian General once said to me, " We have to tell this story… and we have to tell the truth.  The fate of mankind rests on wether we have learned this lesson."  

He was right.  So here it is; I am fueling up the bike and charging forth with a camera, a wide eye, an humble ear and an open mind in search for the REST of the Cold War story. God help us, that in four more generations the effort will have mattered.  Hopefully someone will still be here to remember. --jp

Threads

Threads…

Through the years I've had the opportunity to test the engineering worthiness and structural integrity of the my human machine.  Often requiring a minor fix and on several occasions serious repair became necessary.  My Dad used to say, "your gonna pay for that when you get older."  Of course I didn't listen after all he was old… what did he know.  Lol.  Well he was right and a while back I performed a high velocity ballistic gravity test on my mountain bike which exceeded the structural integrity of my right shoulder, eventually requiring surgery.  The surgery wasn't too bad... in and out one day for the chop, chop but the PT was a different story.  

The PT is where this "thread" story starts.  PT was great! Seriously, I didn't mind a bit…. heat, exercise (pain), elctro-stim and ice.  Done.  The best part was the people.  We all got to know one another, staff and patients alike.  We would work to gather to encourage each others progress and while happy to be done, it was also sad to say good-by. 

The best benefit of my PT was the friendship established with my trainer Christie and her husband Steve.  We all clicked and have been good friends ever since.  Christie and Steve have become family.  We share similar interests in many things, music, photography, and of course motorcycles.  

So, recently we celebrated Christie's birthday with their family, friends and lots of food, I mean LOTS of food and lots of laughs.  With-in five minutes of arriving on the sidecar a thread was discovered.  Mutual acquaintances and stories were shared for hours reminding me of the power of a social community.  After a while I met one of their neighbors, Dr John, the anesthesiologist and his first question to me was, "Have you ever seen the show, Long Way Round?"  Why yes, yes I have... I have also been fortunate enough to hang out with one of the producers, Mr David Alexanian another mutual acquaintance. Well,  Dr John and I start talking and tells me of his sons adventures on his bike, living the "long way round" and how we have adventured some of the same areas and can therefor relate to the experience.  We can also appreciate the stories of places we haven't traveled ourselves because we now understand how we see through the same lens of life.  Brilliant!

After a while Dr. John comes up to me and says, "speaking of threads connecting people…." and he begins to tell me a red thread story.  He was living in San Diego and taking some vacation days to spend time with family visiting from Indiana when he received a call from the hospital.  They [hospital] were short handed and asked if he could come in and support an unscheduled open heart procedure.  Understanding the urgency he apologized to the family and went to work.  Upon arrival he talked to his patient and finds out that she was also in the area visiting family.  He continues to query her and finds out that she is also visiting from Indiana.  Doc thinks, "well isn't that a coincidence…"  Well they continue to talk and unbelievably he finds out that his urgent surgery patient is in fact the next door neighbor to his inlaws that are at his home visiting.  Well the surgery goes fine and he heads home with a message for his in-laws to say "hello from their neighbor" but more importantly the message that the world is a small place, we are all connected and life is a precious gift.  

Thanks to my friends Christie and Steve for connecting the red thread and to Dr. John for sharing his thread with us.  Now go find a thread and see where it leads you.

Part 2; In search of a Helmet

So after a follow-up appointment with the Doc (had to make sure all the screws were still tight) I decided to stop at Santa Barbara Ducati to look for a light weight helmet.  I figured they would have what I needed; light = fast, fast = Ducati.  Seems logical.

Anyway… I start talking with one of the folks behind the counter and telling him about my Sidetrak'n project which leads him to tell me about his Grandfather and how he started racing motorcycles after he moved here during the Korean War.  

Ah Ha!! another thread to pull and see where it leads.  Well I find out his grandfather was stationed at Camp Cooke which is now Vandenberg AFB.  The next thing I know we are on the phone with his grandfather talking about his Army days.  We make arrangements for him to come out to Vandenberg for a tour and to tell his story.  

A couple of weeks later AJ and his Grandfather show up at the front gate for their tour of the base along with AJ's mother.  She hadn't actually known anything about her dads military history so this story was all new to her as well.  So off we go with the first stop at the Korean War Memorial.  To our surprise his unit was not listed.  I checked our records and his unit wasn't listed in any of them.  Thankfully Mr Collins saved his unit history yearbook or we may have never known about his units story.  

We traveled to different areas to see how much it had changed while he regaled us with stories of his time stationed at the base.  Eventually, our travels took us to the northern most point of the base boundary known as Point Sal.  He told us all about how they trained with amphibious tanks and conducted landings in the frigid surf along the cold foggy coastline.

 He laughed and remarked at how difficult it was for the unit because the unit had been activated from a  National Guard Unit in Florida.  That is when it hit me.  I kept thinking that the unit number seemed familiar but I couldn't figure out why.  Well, the guard unit had been activated from Gainesvile Fl.  The town I grew up in as a teenager.  THATS IT!  I used to ride past the armory everyday on my way to school.  Talk about a 6 degrees of separation or following the red thread of destiny.  I had been working at the base for years and had it not been for meeting his grandson I may have never have known the connection. It is also very possible that his units history may have been lost forever.  Now my curiosity was peaked and I wanted to know more which leads me to Part 3 of this story.

Part 1, Sidetrak'n with a bionic neck

(this is the cliff notes version). 

Well… its been almost a year since my neck injury and the recovery has been an adventure  I know i have been tremendously lucky and not just with this particular incident.   Apparently I fractured it several times before without realizing how close I was to being in a real bad situation. This injury was no different.  Thankfully I had the right people at the right time to make it better however, it wasn't without challenge.  

First the right people;  In 1996 I gave a presentation to a group of educators and one of the teachers asked if I would be willing to mentor a young man on career day.  He was interested in every and anything space related.  I agreed and we spent the day together talking about space exploration and philosophy.  I don't know how much I helped him but he sure left an impression on me.  He was one of the most respectful, thoughtful and intelligent young people I have ever met.  He proudly told me about his father with such detail and respect that I remember the details of his fathers education and achievements still to this day.  Several weeks later I received a copy of the paper he submitted for his project and as promised I included it into the reference archive at work.  Well time passed and we lost contact but I always wondered if he followed his dreams. 

Now the right time;  Well if you have ever uttered the phrase "what goes around comes around" then you can appreciate this part of the story.  So…. there  I was with a busted up neck and in need of some serious skills to make it right again.  The insurance folks called and gave me a list of specialists to choose from and I see a curious name, it was the young man's father.  Two days later I am sitting in his office and he gives me the news.  Surgery or disfunction.  Knowing who I have on the team I say go for it.  I then told him about the connection to his son from so many years ago and how that knowledge gave me the confidence to take the risk of the surgery.  Doc and I reminisced about the "mentoring day" and I told him how impressed I was with his son.  He was truly surprised when I produced a copy of his sons report which I took the liberty to bring with me. 

Now the challenge;  The trip home on Christmas Eve was the second trip home with the new neck.  About a week earlier I went in for the surgery which went quite well at least initially.  48 Hours later I was released and sent home to mend.  So, exhausted and happy to be home I settled in for some rest.  After a while I woke up with tremendous discomfort and pressure in my neck.  When I looked in the mirror I realized there was extreme swelling in my throat (my neck was bigger than my head) and something was seriously wrong.  I was trying to make some phone calls to the nurse to get suggestions when the pressure got so bad I couldn't speak.  I realized that it wouldn't be long before I wouldn't be able to breathe so I grabbed my tactical trauma kit complete with necessary items to perform a tracheotomy, packed frozen vegetables around my neck (great pre-packaged ice packs) and raced to the ER about 25 minutes away.  If figured I would drive as far as I could until I my breathing became desperate and then I would pull over and do the tracheotomy if need be.  Well I made it to the hospital in the nick of time just before the pressure subsided in my throat and moved further into my chest.  They loaded me into a critical care transport ambulance and sent me back to the main hospital about an hour away where i was rushed into emergency surgery for internal bleeding.  After everything was said and done, Doc told me that if I waited another 10 mins we probably wouldn't be having the conversation.  Apparently a vein ruptured around my esophagus and there was a whole lot of the ol' red stuff pumping into the wrong place.  All is well that ends well and thankfully we got it all fixed up.  So Christmas eve I was heading home with some uber cool titanium bits in my spine and things were on the mend.  Five weeks later I was riding my motorcycle. 

What goes around did actually come around and because of that, I have been able log over 16 thousand clicks on the Sidetrak'n odo since 1 February 2012.!  

Well… Thats just the beginning of how the neck injury led to a Sidetrak'n story. Join us again for Part 2 of Sidetrak'n with a bionic neck