Helmets, Sidecars, BBQ and Full Body Armor

Hank Hank at the SLO Motorcycle Classic, Oct 2012

A couple of years ago I was at a vintage motorcycle show and became instant buddies with a crazy Scotsman named Hank.  Hank is always willing to participate in sidecar events and always supporting what people are doing.  Brother Hank is one of the official Sidetrak’n Cosmonutz as well as an official Distinguished Gentleman.  So it was my pleasure to ride up and participate in his event, Sidecars, BBQ and Full Body Armor.

Any day on a sidecar is a good day, some better than others but all are just simply good times.  Sidecar days are even better when you can share with your friends and better still when you make new friends in the process.

Hank put together a great afternoon of activities with two BBQ grills going full tilt by midmorning, two Scalextrics Slot car racing tracks complete with electric sidecars as well as a dirt track to demo one of his bikes and of course the afternoon blind sidecar slalom.  

There were folks that rode in from as far away as San Jose as well as Monterey and Paso Robles.  For me it was a nice 120km (each way) ride on the California Central Coast.

The slot car races were full-contact no rules Mad Max style racing.  Given these parameters I had to devote the appropriate resources and build a competition Gobi slot-sidecar.  Again racing is racing and this is serious stuff so I tuned my miniature hack as any good competitor would.  Christie gave me a hard time for cheating but I told her it wasn’t possible to cheat since there weren’t any rules and then promptly bumped her out if the way…lol. 

How do you hot rod a slot car?  Well, I took it apart and coated all of the moving parts with dry silicon.  Ha!...it worked like a charm.  The old camo Gobi would lap the others easily in two and half laps.  Boom! That just happened.  Yeah yeah I know they are just slot cars but it was still pretty funny.  The hardest part was keeping it on the track! After all, physics are still physics regardless of the size of the sidecar. 

OK, so now on to real track. The slalom was a load of fun and I suppose its only fair payback to have the monkey in control for a change.  Its funny because I never really thought about it before but now I have a better understanding why a few of my friends don’t want to monkey because they have to be in control. 

To clear up any confusion, blind sidecar slalom isn’t a figure of speech but a literal description of the challenge.  First you form a team, having a trustworthy monkey with good communication skills is the most important factor in this low speed death-defying mechanical adventure.  Then as the pilot you have to take a big bite of humble pie (did someone say pie? —sorry I digress—pie is for later), precede to the start, then don your blackout glasses, ease out the clutch, take your time and LISTEN to what your monkey tells you. 

When you roll off the starting line you will take left and right commands (from your monkey) to safely navigate through the course in both directions without (hopefully) hitting any cones.   It’s kind of like getting a pilots instrument rating without having any instruments. Seriously it’s tremendously disorienting but good for a laugh. 

After copious amount of BBQ, pie and a good sunburn everyone started winding down and shuffling home.  Taking with them kind gifts from our host and an afternoon of fond memories.

Steve and Hank agreeing that next year
Steve will have a hack as well--hint hint

As I was riding home I was thinking what great evening it would have been to sit around a camp fire laughing about the days events while polishing off the last of the pie and nursing a glass of bourbon.  Perhaps something to look forward to next time?  See you there!

For more pics check out the Sidetrak'n Facebook Photo Album at:Hank's BBQ, Sidecars & Body Armor